Back to school again

It seems only just a few months ago that we posted a set of tips for back to school.  Yet here we are again heading into a new school year, only this time the situation couldn’t be any more different.  The pandemic has forced adjustments in every facet of our lives.  The fabric of our daily routines has, for the majority, been altered in many ways.  Although opinions diverge on the nature and significance of the Covid-19 virus, it is undeniable that we’ve had to reassess our assumptions about everything from necessities to relationships, and from societal norms to citizenship.  For most, this process has been an unsettling and harsh awakening.  At a minimum, the first half of 2020 has been a period of unrelenting stress, and at its worst, it has been a traumatic time that we won’t soon forget.  Thus, some new advice is warranted for teens, parents and teachers venturing back to campus.

1. Have a flexible mindset

In my practice as a therapist and consultant, I have noticed a couple of themes in people’s response to the pandemic, including that those who resent having to change their norms seem to fare much worse that those who readily made necessary adjustments to preserve some semblance of normalcy.  While having established practices and predictable routines can be a source of comfort and security, over-dependence on those norms can be a source of frustration and stress.  In fact, “normal” has become anachronistic.  Be prepared to modify treasured activities and rituals.  Being a purist is likely to erode the pleasure and benefits of preferred activities.

2. Adjust expectations

The upending of traditional scholastic rituals like graduation, commencement, proms, move-in weekends, and athletic life has ushered in disappointment for many who considered those moments as defining times in their lives.  This has left them bereft of the satisfaction of having achieve those life milestones.  This is having a broad dampening effect as people feel no desire to strive for goals that no longer carry the same rewards and recognition.  For example, having to enroll in a less selective school in response to financial pressures might discourage high performing students from aiming for higher GPAs and rankings.  As a result, expectations about academic performance must take into consideration students’ outlook, and people may need to make appropriate accommodations to align historical ideas of education with current realities.

3. Enhance self-care

It’s great that social-emotional needs are an area of serious consideration in education.  Though the application remains superficial in most districts, there is at least the understanding that education does not exist in a vacuum.  Students and staff bring their full-selves to school and do not leave their personal lives at the door.  In addition, with families already exhausted after nearly six months of double duty, schools will not be able to pass the buck on addressing students’ mental health at school.  Instead, teachers and counselors need to integrate supportive practices in the classroom so as to proactively address the stress responses that will inevitably accompany students upon their return.  Reduction in work loads and a mix of low and high demand tasks would be a smart start. At home parents would do well to encourage healthy sleep and physical activity.  Many teens have become night owls and will need to relearn to exist in daylight–like vampires getting hit by a ray of sunlight. The task will not be easy.

4. Maintain varied routines

This is key in maintaining enjoyment and interest in home and school activities.  The idea is not to come up with endless alternatives, but to be creative in doing the same things in many different ways (see flexible mindset above) to keep them fresh.  A simple way of doing this is to change the order in which activities are performed, or to have rotating or alternating schedules throughout the week.  Burnout is a new factor that will need to be considered after months of serial binging on whatever was fun, popular, or beneficial. Downtime is a respectable and highly recommended component of a healthy routine.

5. Connect with supports

This final advice cannot be over-emphasized.  While support can look like a number of things, it is an essential element of healthy functioning, and more needed than ever.  Whether you find support from friends, relatives, neighbors, faith communities, or nature, be sure to connect regularly.  Waiting until you feel that you’re losing your mind is risky.  It is much more beneficial to have it as part of your routine.  Moreover, reject the stigma that talking to a professional is a sign of weakness.  If you have a root canal, you don’t feel judged about the fact that your teeth are in bad shape.  Similarly, if your emotions are on a downward slide, it simply means that you’re dealing with overwhelming circumstances.

These tips are not a once-and-done list; instead, they are a wash-and-repeat to help us manage the uncertain and stressful school year ahead.  The usual remedies may not be as effective as they once were, but a willingness to try different ideas and be gentle with ourselves will be a salve on weary souls.

This article is posted with permission from Sheila LeGrand

Like most of the pictures on TeensParentsTeachers, the picture posted with this article is courtesy of a free download from Pixabay.com.