Tips for Managing the “New Normal”
The Covid-19 pandemic is forcing every level of our society to reexamine its priorities, while exposing the good, the bad and the ugly of our true selves. After now two full weeks of modified lockdown, tolerance is wearing thin across the board. While images of themed soirees, virtual adventures and formal dinners were popping up on social media early on, the posts have been more sensible of late with greater focus on what truly matters. The idea of people doing their best to spin an alternative reality for themselves and their families in order not go completely bonkers is quite relatable. Who wouldn’t want to escape our current situation? Although the lure of escape is certainly irresistible, there are healthier and more beneficial ways of confronting the reality that will leave us better prepared for the future. Moreover, such affairs, while certainly fun for a week or two, are hard to keep up for three months–at least for most people. Also, they consume resources that could be put to better use and create an unnecessary burden, making people feel they have to affect a cheery attitude in stressful times.
Parents are effectively establishing precedents for their children and future generations in their manner of navigating a crisis. Consequently, a more advantageous approach would be to maintain stability and predictability in the home by preserving the family’s natural rhythm with a few modifications. The sense of normalcy that is communicated by familiar routines will go a long way in assuaging anxieties. Additionally, re-purposing currently available resources will diminish the worry about keeping sufficient supplies in the home. In other words, use what is already available, and if you have to buy additional supplies, purchase for multi-purpose.
- Plan
Schedules help us to organize our thinking and channel our energies throughout the day. They communicate a sense of purpose and process that make us feel accomplished even when we haven’t done much.
- Begin by creating weekly and daily schedules for the household/individual. Include daily routines such as morning hygiene, exercise, breakfast, meals (who is cooking and what is being cooked), cleaning, and rest times in addition to blocks of personal, self-care time and quiet work. Have the kids take part in developing and illustrating the schedule, and post multiple copies around the home.
- In a two-parent household, one parent can have some self-care time while the children are doing a quiet activity as another parent supervises nearby.
- For parents working from home, try coordinating the children’s independent work time with scheduled conference calls or meetings. In addition, getting an early start while the children are still in bed also gives you 1-2 hours of serenity to kick off the work day.
- Though it is easier to let everyone stay up until they pass out, it is much more beneficial to keep a consistent sleep schedule. Healthy sleep is key to good mental health. Moreover, by maintaining regular bedtimes for the children, parents can free up their evenings for much needed TLC.
- Structure
Designate spaces around the home for different purposes.
- Create a craft corner by arranging a couple of toss pillows and a coffee table away from the common areas, complete with coloring and painting, and other craft supplies. Creative arts are a wonderful medium for processing feelings.
- Throw a plastic tablecloth over a table placed near the kitchen or bathrooms (where messes can be quickly cleaned) for a science corner. Allow kids to work on parent-approved experiments on their own (volcano-making and slime are quite safe and easy to do). Often, the same ingredients can be used in multiple projects if you plan well.
- Have kid-approved academic activities–card games, dominoes, number puzzles, trivia games–that can be played without a parent–available as a step down from paper-pencil or online classwork.
- Create a quiet space in the home with some soft toys and a comfy blanket. This is for regrouping and calming for anyone who needs a break, not for time-outs.
- Explore
Engage in productive activities that enrich the family.
- There’s never been a more perfect time for some of those overdue home projects. A can of paint or rolls of wallpaper can provide hours of active family engagement without breaking the bank. They beautifying the home while allowing everyone an opportunity to contribute.
- Prepare meals as a family. This can double as a science or math extension activity.
- Order a family set of books and have a book club.
- Come up with an invention to solve a household problem and work on it as a family.
- Create a family band. Practice and perform one song as a family per week.
- Finish those baby books that never went past the three-months pictures. Children love to see their baby pictures and ask about times before they existed.
- Delegate
This period is going to be much less overwhelming if you approach it as a team. Give each person a responsibility that makes them feel needed and important. Having the kids prepare grilled cheese or cold sandwiches for the family lunch once a week is a good way to build their competence. Trust them to do it without hovering, and eat it with pleasure.
Rotate roles and schedules. The parent working from home can assume a more active role on the weekends to allow their partner some down time. Another option is to designate AM and PM point-persons as work schedules will allow.
- Take Space
Being confined to the home together does not imply spending every waking minute together. While enjoying time together as a family is commendable, it is equally important to have personal time. In fact, a healthy balance of group and personal times will make the difference between families who weather confinement in one piece and those who come undone as a result.
Consequently, establish quiet periods where each person can indulge in a personal pursuit for 30 minutes to an hour. Have a variety of individual, paired, small-group, whole-group activities ready to go.
As parents of young children have heard myriads of time “sleep when they sleep”; reintroduce nap time or begin a siesta tradition.
Children do not need to be entertained by parents or devices. Let them be bored. Let them have space to use their imagination in solving their problems or keeping themselves entertained. As long as they are safe, there is no need for a parent to be guiding their every move.
Taking time throughout the day to decompress and relax reduces the need to resort to substances and other unhelpful behaviors for comfort. It also models healthy self-regulation for children.
- Move
Since you can’t go to the gym, make good use of technology to bring the gym to you. Work out with a family member or alone. Use the “Scientific 7-minute Workout” for the kids’ fitness time. Turn on the computer and let them have at it.
Spending your 8-hr workday on the couch might sound like a dream come true, but it will wreak havoc on your body after a couple of weeks. If a home office is not available to you, walk-in closets, nurseries or guest rooms are great substitutes. However, resist the urge to hide away the whole day, and take breaks away from the “work space”.
Keep the kids moving every 45-60 minutes by rotating activities. Print out easy worksheets such as puzzles, riddles, and comprehension activities, and place them in an “independent work center.” Such resources are widely available on the internet or the parent resource pages of many school districts. Spread out their workday with lunch, recess, fitness, and snack breaks.
- Breathe
Get outside for some fresh air and sunlight each day. Take time to enjoy the positives and make room for gratitude.
Academic Resources
https://kids.nationalgeographic.com/
https://www.stevespanglerscience.com/lab/experiment-library/
http://mathengaged.org/resources/card-games/
https://nzmaths.co.nz/playing-mathematical-dominoes
https://www.st-georges.enfield.sch.uk/attachments/download.asp?file=55&type=pdf
Game Resources
References and links
Raybeck D. (1991) Proxemics and Privacy: Managing the Problems of Life in Confined Environments. In: Harrison A.A., Clearwater Y.A., McKay C.P. (eds) From Antarctica to Outer Space. Springer, New York, NY
https://childmind.org/article/supporting-kids-during-the-covid-19-crisis/
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/child-trauma.pdf
Like most of the pictures on TeensParentsTeachers, the picture posted with this article is courtesy of a free download from Pixabay.com.